{"id":135059,"date":"2023-05-04T14:19:26","date_gmt":"2023-05-04T18:19:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.ucf.edu\/news\/?p=135059"},"modified":"2023-05-04T14:19:26","modified_gmt":"2023-05-04T18:19:26","slug":"overcoming-the-imposter-syndrome-accomplished-ucf-spring-2023-grad-reflects-on-journey","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ucf.edu\/news\/overcoming-the-imposter-syndrome-accomplished-ucf-spring-2023-grad-reflects-on-journey\/","title":{"rendered":"Overcoming the Imposter Syndrome: Accomplished UCF Spring 2023 Grad Reflects on Journey"},"content":{"rendered":"

From the time she first walked onto UCF\u2019s campus in the fall of 2019, Alex Stovall always seemed to be that<\/em> kind of student. You know, the one who makes college look as easy as a four-year stroll toward the commencement stage. Stovall entered as a Burnett Honors College<\/a> (BHC) scholar and within two years was doing lab research. She earned a prestigious internship in Germany and a position on the BHC Deans\u2019 Leadership Council<\/a>. You\u2019d assume her to be naturally confident in her intellectual prowess.<\/p>\n

You would be totally wrong about her.<\/p>\n

\u201cUp until recently I had imposter syndrome,\u201d says Stovall, who will graduate from UCF on May 6. \u201cEven now, looking back at what I\u2019ve done \u2026 I\u2019m a little shocked.\u201d<\/p>\n

Yes, Stovall has been that<\/em> kind of student through most of her college life. Questioning if she\u2019s smart enough to be a chemistry major<\/a>. Wondering if she should be in the same space as people who could carry on Ph.D.-level conversations.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere were times I didn\u2019t even understand what my classmates were talking about,\u201d she says. \u201cIt seemed so easy for them. I couldn\u2019t help comparing myself and thinking, \u2018Can I ever get to that level? Do I really belong here?\u2019 \u201d<\/p>\n

The fact that the highest level of science is male-centric only made the questions echo louder in her mind. She needed the kind of boost that every student needs, even if they don\u2019t seem like the type who needs it.<\/p>\n

\u201cEncouragement made all the difference. … I realize that self-doubt was the only thing holding me back.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\u201cEncouragement made all the difference,\u201d Stovall says. \u201cI\u2019ll never forget Dean Sheila [Amin Guti\u00e9rrez de Pi\u00f1eres] and Senior Associate Dean Martin [Dupuis] telling me that I can do whatever I set my mind to doing. It changed everything. Now that graduation is here, and I have a job lined up [with National Renewable Energy Laboratory in Golden, Colorado], I realize that self-doubt was the only thing holding me back. Nothing was ever handed to me. I had to work for all of this, and I don\u2019t want my own doubts to ever hold me back again.\u201d<\/p>\n

Stovall grew up in a hard-working community near Peoria, Illinois. It was just Stovall and her mother. When her mother was laid off from her job, she asked Alex if they should move to Punta Gorda, Florida, to live with Alex\u2019s grandparents.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe didn\u2019t have a lot. Mom and I would spend time together driving around that part of Illinois, or in her words \u2018going on little adventures.\u2019 She said a move to Florida would be another adventure for us,\u201d she says. \u201cI\u2019m glad she put it that way. My life would be completely different if we\u2019d stayed in Illinois.\u201d<\/p>\n

In high school, Stovall wanted to be a forensic anthropologist, like the lead character on the TV series Bones<\/em>. She chose to enroll at UCF because it was the only in-state university at the time with a forensic science program for undergraduates. Her transcript and test scores met the Bright Futures benchmarks, her mother\u2019s income qualified for a Pell Grant, and Stovall was accepted into the Burnett Honors College because she was academically among the top 5%-8% of incoming freshman. Everything lined up for immediate success.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut I didn\u2019t feel like I fit the mold of a real-life scientist,\u201d she says. \u201cI thought because there are no scientists in my family, because I\u2019m a young woman and because I don\u2019t talk the talk, I\u2019d be out of place in forensics.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t feel like I fit the mold of a real-life scientist. I thought because there are no scientists in my family, because I\u2019m a young woma, and because I don\u2019t talk the talk, I\u2019d be out of place in forensics.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

With the imposter syndrome kicking in strong, Stovall shifted her focus to chemistry.<\/p>\n

\u201cI think of chemistry as the Goldilocks of science,\u201d Stovall says. \u201cPhysics is a lot of math and less science. Biology is a lot of science, but not enough math. Chemistry is just right for me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Stovall also found chemistry to be a field where she could weave in her love for nature. She\u2019ll always remember a backpacking trip with friends in the Rocky Mountains, where they didn\u2019t see another person for three days. She literally remembers every single day because the has a picture of Paradise Park tattooed on her thigh. During her sophomore year at UCF, chemistry instructor Melanie Beazley invited Stovall to help with a study on wastewater around campus. Next came a research project on eutrophication, or excess growth of algae, around UCF\u2019s 82-acre UCF Arboretum.<\/p>\n

While digging up soil samples, Stovall\u2019s self-assurance grew. She applied for a Research Internship in Science and Engineering (RISE) in Potsdam, Germany. From the 1,200 applicants worldwide, only 300 were chosen. Stovall was one of them.<\/p>\n

\u201cI could not afford that kind of experience on my own,\u201d she says, \u201cbut there I was, working alongside students from the Ivy League, Stanford, and private schools. I thought, \u2018Whoa, I really do belong.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

A few weeks after UCF\u2019s commencement, Stovall will begin her one-year post-graduate internship with NREL. She\u2019ll help find better polymers for plastics so they can decompose quickly, recycle easier, and make our environment healthier long-term. The NREL team will not see an imposter. They\u2019ll see a force.<\/p>\n

Stovall is leaving her options open beyond the NREL internship.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve discovered that something you never thought of doing might be your best route,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou can do this. And once you believe it, there\u2019s no telling how far you might go.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

One option that comes to mind is professorship, because she knows what it\u2019s like to be that<\/em> student, wondering if they\u2019re good enough.<\/p>\n

\u201cI would tell a younger me to ignore the internal voices of self-doubt,\u201d she says. \u201cYou can do this. And once you believe it, there\u2019s no telling how far you might go.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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