{"id":81579,"date":"2018-03-28T09:07:39","date_gmt":"2018-03-28T13:07:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.ucf.edu\/news\/?p=81579"},"modified":"2018-06-08T11:28:47","modified_gmt":"2018-06-08T15:28:47","slug":"building-relationships-in-a-world-that-says-what-about-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ucf.edu\/news\/building-relationships-in-a-world-that-says-what-about-me\/","title":{"rendered":"Building Relationships in a World That Says: \u201cWhat About Me?\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"

I believe one of the hardest things in life is building long-lasting relationships.<\/p>\n

I hear all the time about couples going through divorce and I think why? And it\u2019s not just couples breaking up. I\u2019ve seen parents and children, siblings or dear friends have a falling out and not speak for years, if ever again.<\/p>\n

I understand there are situations where we have to cut ties with a person. Perhaps we are in an unhealthy relationship and need to distance ourselves from someone for our own emotional or physical well-being. That is different and not the kind of relationship I mean. I\u2019m speaking to the basic give and take and life struggles that happen and effect our relationships.<\/p>\n

I think, in part, we have to examine the changes in our society. We are definitely a hurried and throw-away culture. If something requires extra work or time, we often really aren\u2019t interested. We tend to want to make a fast buck and get immediate gratification. If something is broken, we don\u2019t try to fix it. We simply throw it away and buy a new one.<\/p>\n

This philosophy seems to have carried over into our relationships.<\/p>\n

There is also the belief that we should be happy, no matter what. Now, don\u2019t get me wrong, I want to be happy as much as the next person, but the shift that has taken place is that many people say: \u201cI deserve happiness; I\u2019m entitled to it at any cost.\u201d<\/p>\n

Part of this philosophy encompasses the belief that the people in our lives should make us happy. I hate to burst that bubble, but that is not their job to keep us happy all the time. We first have to be happy with ourselves and who we are.<\/p>\n

Others can increase our joy, for sure, but they aren\u2019t responsible for it.<\/p>\n

The bottom line is relationships are not a one-sided, what\u2019s-in-it-for-me undertaking.<\/p>\n

Like anything else of value in life, they require work. A lot of the work isn\u2019t even really hard, and oftentimes it\u2019s downright fun. It\u2019s building each other up, communicating with each other, lending a helping hand, spending time together and supporting each other.<\/p>\n

Sometimes it is<\/em> hard work, like apologizing, compromising, conceding or even putting someone else\u2019s needs before our own. In the end, these things make us a better person. They make us someone worth fighting for.<\/p>\n

And in life\u2019s struggles, sometimes that\u2019s what it will take to keep a relationship going \u2013 fighting the good fight, because the other person is worth it.<\/p>\n

Kim Nassoiy is associate4director of UCF\u2019s Creative School for Children. She can be reached at <\/em>Kimberly.Nassoiy@ucf.edu<\/em><\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"I believe one of the hardest things in life is building long-lasting relationships. I hear all the time about couples going through divorce and I think why? And it\u2019s not just couples breaking up. I\u2019ve seen parents and children, siblings or dear friends have a falling out and not speak for years, if ever again. 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